Y2K Fashion Disasters

As a wannabe fashionista (one who intentionally dresses to match a feeling or theme but isn’t one for brand names), I have very strong opinions about the mishaps of Y2K fashion. So I decided to channel my Y2K fashion anger into a list from not totally awful to let’s burn it. I’m crossing my fingers that Y2K nostalgia won’t let these clothing disasters creep back into clothing stores. Please pop culture gods, some things are not worth repeating.

10) Excessive Layering

This is at the bottom of the worst list because I wonder if it was just me and the fashion department at the Disney Channel that overdid it. Normal layering, big fan. It makes for an easier transition between hot and cold temperatures. Like when it’s winter but you go into a room with the heat-blasted or summer and you enter a building that feels like a tundra.

But the way I wore layers was a bit more than excessive. It wasn’t functional or practical. I’d wear a plain tee shirt with a cami over it and a shrug over that. It wasn’t unusual that my outfits would consist of 3 or more layers. What’s most embarrassing is that I was very proud of these outfits. I thought I was a trailblazer and would document them by taking selfies in the mirror. I never ended up being one to set trends, but I sure was creative.

9) Puka Shell Necklaces

8) Dangly Belts

7) Uggs (the off-brand kind)

Okay yes… they were soft. I’m not denying that. I don’t even think that they’re that ugly, which is how I was told the brand got its name. Uggs were known as boots that were the cute type of ugly, and in Y2K you weren’t anyone if you didn’t have a pair.

Well, I wasn’t anyone so I never had a real pair. I did have many off-brand pairs though, which is why this complaint is strictly for the off-brand versions. Once again, my critique comes down to a problem with functionality. My fake Uggs were apparently not made for going outside, which I thought was the whole point of wearing boots. The snow would just leak right through the seams and the outside fur would quickly become matted.

6) The Pink Juicy Catoure Tracksuits

Juicy tracksuits were not exercise wear. I guess you could say that they were athleisure wear before athleisure wear was athleisure wear, but they were often worn with heels which doesn’t sound like athleisure wear to me.

5) Baggy Boy Jeans

So from here on we’re going to be talking about some serious Y2K fashion offenders. First up we have the Y2K boy jeans of choice. I don’t believe in the gender binary, but the early 2000s definitely did. When I say boy jeans, I’m referring to the baggy jeans that people would wear sometimes as low as halfway down their butts.

I’ve seen numerous boys fail to pull their pants up fast enough while they walked down the school halls. People often wore belts with these jeans, but those belts never did their job. This style went with the whole Y2K skater-style thing. Even preppy boys wore their jeans falling off their butt, they were just falling off less. It was as if people felt the need to show off their boxers, for what reason I am not sure.

4) The Coach Purse

Speaking of impractical, Coach purses take the cake. These purses were built the size of a small Chihuahua. They had short handles that you could barely fit your arm through and you had to hold them close to your body with your elbow to prevent them from sliding down. When I discovered the heavenliness of a cross-body I was amazed by how much mobility I had and never looked back.

I could finally utilize my full range of motion to hold shopping bags and piles of garments to try on in dressing rooms. The trend just didn’t make sense economically. There were even some wallets that were too big for these purses completely defeating their main function.

3) Expensive Logos for Over-sexed Teens

Yes, I’m talking about Abercrombie & Fitch (which my friends called Apple Crumbcake and Fish), Hollister, Aeropastel, and American Eagle. Brands were everything in Y2K. It didn’t matter what you wore exactly, just that you got your clothes from the right stores. So it was important to sport the Ambercombie moose and Hollister bird on your garments.

Aeropastel was the least of the offenders. Sure, they printed their brand name on all their clothes, but Aeropastel stores weren’t quite as sexed up as Hollister, Abercombie, and American Eagle. My mom hated going into the Hollister store and not just because their clothes were cheaply made and expensive.

In Hollister, you would inhale perfume instead of air as you groped through the nearly pitch-dark store. Posters of shirtless young people lined the walls and the aisle teaching me how to be “hot”. While I wasn’t quite sure of the full meaning behind the word I knew it was something to be desired. So after years of begging my mother finally capitulated and took me to the store where I somehow convinced her to let me buy a red pair of sweats that had “Hollister” stitched on the butt.

2) Nothing But Pin-Straight

Needless to say, my aspirations to have straightened hair never really got me anywhere. But many people did straighten their hair every day. Many people with already perfectly pin straight hair. Some people’s hair still has not fully recovered from the wear and tear of their straighteners.

1) Girl Jeans: Low-Rise Flair

This brings me to my third and final point. Low-cut jeans are recipes for eating disorders. Nobody wants to look at themself in the mirror and watch their stomach, no matter how small, tumbling over the ban of their jeans. Unless you’re Britney Spears or a Victoria’s Secret super-model, low-rise jeans were and are a capitalist ploy to cripple teenage girls’ already demoralized and low self-esteem.